Grandma

Grandma died today. She died in her sleep. Or that's how others found it. She lived alone in her own room, has been living like that for 24 years since her husband died. She was normal yesterday evening. She went around living her life, bought some apples from a street vendor. She didn't open her door late into the morning, people were suspicious, broke the door and found her gone.
Grand ma is the last one left of her generation. She is also the sister of father of my maternal grandfather. She belonged to the 1950s/60s generation. She was probably 75-80 years old. Her parents and all her siblings died long ago in the 1980s and 90s. She was the youngest of her siblings. I used to ask her about her siblings, and she would always say they all loved her and are gone.

Born in an agricultural family, she got married when she was 7 years old. She got a cow as part of dowry whose descendents continued into my childhood. She and her husband inherited around 3 acres of land from my grand father's father. They worked hard and bought another 7 acres in their lifetime. My grandfather died in 1996 due to complications from old age. After that grandma decided not to stay with any of the sons and the three sons agreed to give her 5 bags of rice each every year.

She is a strong and controversial figure in the family. She ruled the roost in her time. I remember my mother and she having regular fights for a few years.

When I walked to her lifeless body, I saw a few people crying. Her eyes were partly open and it seemed like she is still looking at me. She was laid infront of our newly built house.

The funera rituals are elaborate. They lifted her lifeless body and bathed it with shampoo and soap. I had to put my own mug of water on her. It was a surrealistic to see all those people bathing her after she died, the same people who never cared much when she was alive. Life came a full circle for grandma, the last time someone bathed her was probably her own mother when she was a child. Then she was adorned with a new saree. I was part of the entourage carrying her to the pyre. We roamed around the pyre 3 times and she was laid face down on the pyre. Then we went to take bath, while coming back I was asked not to look at be pyre, but I did take a peak and found her almost starting to burn with the clothes coiling in heat. She is gone forever.

She probably did not know yesterday that she is not going to see tomorrow. She probably thought she will eat the apples tomorrow morning. Death in sleep may be the most peaceful death, but it's also the most cruel one where you get no time to prepare for it.

In her last years she ran out of money and used to ask me for it. I used to give her some secretly. She used to be gossiping, fiery and strong woman. But, last few years, I have seen her becoming weaker and weaker. I also saw her becoming like a child recently. Earlier she used to try to use some smart tricks to get me to give her money. Recently, she started begging for it and I knew she felt a bit ashamed to ask me money. After she died, they searched her house in the evening and found 5000 rupees wrapped secretely inside multiple layers of plastic, the same notes, part of what I gave her a few weeks ago.

My grandparents were the earliest people who told me stories in the childhood while making me sleep with them under the moonlight. Now they are both gone.

By evening, everyone were laughing and jovial. No one probably cried for her. She probably deserved it with all her fights with others. But it's doesn't matter anymore. She lived her life the way she wants, on her own terms. She probably never regretted living alone despite all the problems associated with it. She was mostly healthy till the last day. I don't think she ever went to bed with a major worry in her mind. She belonged to a generation of simple souls who would toil and fight all the day, but would forget all that and go to sleep at peace. She left when her time is over, a day here or there. We all will leave some day.